Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

NASA plans to build a giant radio telescope on the 'dark side' of the moon. Here's why. - Yahoo

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What are the different celebrity lists (A-list, B-list, C-list, D-list)? How does one become a part of these lists and move up or down in status?

I can read

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Tesla Stock Is Falling. Why June Is Starting With a Loss. - Barron's

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

One day, I happened to walk past where my crush was with friends. Then all of a sudden they start laughing, and someone maybe him, goes "freaking (my name) with her freaking hair!" Can anyone offer insights into this? We're in middle school.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Massive iron reserve worth trillions discovered could reshape the global economy - Glass Almanac

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

The ‘inexcusable’ mistake Knicks made again and again in season-ending loss - New York Post

I understand how hurricane paths work

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Brad Marchand's mom goes nuts after his Game 2 heroics as Panthers star offers cheeky response - New York Post

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can count

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

"More problems than it was helping”: Behind the growing distrust of antidepressants - Salon.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why does a straight man like anal penetration?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I see through liars

43 Impulse Buys You’ve Probably Been Eyeing For A Minute, So Here’s Your Sign To Click “Add To Cart” - BuzzFeed

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

The USB-C dream is dead and it’s too late to revive it - Android Authority

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

The nine-armed octopus and the oddities of the cephalopod nervous system - Ars Technica

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

In the search for signs of life on Mars, Perseverance reaches a crucial rock site. - Farmingdale Observer

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What do you think will be the biggest factor in determining whether Daniel Penny was justified in believing that Jordan Neely had posed a deadly threat in the manslaughter trial?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I actually pay taxes

I know who the president of Turkey really is